From the most recent chapter of my WiP:
They assumed, he supposed, that he was simply cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens, like any other supervillain.
“Supervillain” refers not to “he,” the one doing the supposing, nor to “they,” who are doing the assuming, but to other people he would have cooked in the execution chamber in the course of normal events. Should “supervillain” be plural here, then, since the “them” he is assumed to be cooking (but is not) is plural? Does this question make any sense? Blah?
I would go w/plural on supervillains.
Try “…as any other supervillain would.” Should make your intent more clear.
“He supposed they assumed he was simply *cooking* them in the Execution Chamber ovens, like any other supervillain.”
That’s what I think you’re saying, with an emphasis on cooking, to make it clearer. Supervillain would be singular, even though he has cooked many supervillains. Did not expect to be writing that sentence today.
Singular, because of the word “any”. Take out the word “other”: “…like any supervillains” sounds weird. T use a plural, you’d have to say something like “…like all supervillains”, and I think “any” works better.
“He supposed they assumed he was simply cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens, like any other supervillain.”
or
“He supposed they assumed he was simply cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens, like other supervillains.”
Thanks all for your input! I’ve decided to go the chicken-shit route on my solution (esp. because Kip mis-read my intention altogether, which means the sentence as it stood could not stand).
Here’s the revision:
They assumed, he supposed, that he was simply cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens.
Jeepers. I’m not sure how I so utterly misread your explanation, but yeah, that was definitely unclear in the sentence itself. Rather, “They assumed, he supposed, that he was simply cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens, as he would any other supervillain.”
I started to suspect as much when I was typing my blog post, and I had to basically diagram the sentence for myself in order to even ask my question. Always a bad sign! Ha!
My suggestion was going to be the same as Kip’s–calling back to the subject to clarify who was doing the cooking. With that change, I think the more complex syntax of the original version works fine.
(Actually, leave out that last comma: “cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens as he would any other supervillain.”)
Supervillain, singular, is correct here since the subject is actually “any”. The word supervillain is simply describing “any” of “what” would be cooking in the ovens.
Good to know I was on gramatically solid ground initially, even though the sentence turned out to be ambiguous. Thanks!
Kip’s reading was also my first instinct so the choice to simplify your sentence is probably justified.
If it was in a newspaper we’d just write: “They assumed he was simply cooking them in the Execution Chamber ovens like any other supervillains.”
Not sure who your guy is that he cooks supervillains — not a hero, I’m guessing.
W
Zephyr — a superhero webcomic in prose
http://zephyr.warrenhately.com
Hell, I’d get rid of “ovens” too.
Words are gold. Spend them wisely.
W
Zephyr — a superhero webcomic in prose
http://zephyr.warrenhately.com
I want to keep ringing the Nazi warning bell here, which is why I re-iterate “ovens” at every opportunity. Maybe too much?
He is a hero. He’s having a moral quandary about secretly drinking their blood before executing them the way he’s supposed to.
“…he’d ever met, fought, killed, and drank the blood of….”
Surely you’re meaning “DRUNK” the blood of?!
“…on the very morning of his coming out party….”
Wouldn’t hyphenizing “coming out” as in “coming-out” be a soupçon more old school?
On the former note — yes, you’re absolutely right. Thanks.
On the latter: did they hyphenate the phrase when using it in its original society sense? I was unaware of that. Note, too, that though TGH was a very young adult in the early twentieth century, he has lived through all of that century and this one, too, so his use of language should be influenced by all of that living. It’s a careful little game I’m trying to play there. I don’t want him to seem to have been transported directly from Roosevelt’s Cuba to now, you know?